Nostalgia

Cause Something isn't right here.
You've gone and left me on the ground.
Something isn't right in this world called confusion.
You gave it all away before you could lose it.
Something isn't right here on the ground.
You never said goodbye.
You died.
You chose to carry on a lie.
Something isn't right here.
You've gone and left me on the ground.
Something isn't right here.
You're gone and left me on the ground.
Something isn't right in this world called confusion.
You gave it all away before you could lose it.
Something isn't right here on the ground. (on the ground)
Something isn't right in this world called confusion.
You gave it all away before you could lose it. (and then)
Something isn't right here on the ground. (on the ground)

What a difference

God is great.

I love how God strategically places people in your life to give you encouragement when you need it most. 

I got to share my testimony again the other night, for the first time in a while.  It was so refreshing to say the least.  Brought back a sense of purpose to my life as God reminded me what he's brought me through.  My God is all sufficient.

I need to stop distracting myself with Xanga and study now.  Adieu!

Crunch time

Wow, junior level classes are work intensive, especially ones with no exams that rely solely on 2 large projects for your final grade.  80 pages worth of group work for one class.  Group work or not, that's still crazy to me.

Being an RA is cool.  I still need to plan a hall even.  I want to watch the movie "Equlibrium" for my floors movie discussion night.

I've been very, very lonely lately.  Very.

The following is me venting.

Coming back to Lee is getting harder and harder every time.

I used to love it here so much...and to an extent I still do....but it's not fun anymore.  I feel so restricted, but not by policies or anything like that.  To be honest, I feel like I can't be spontaneous anymore. 

For example, right now, I want to go out to iHop with people and drink coffee and just be awesome.  But I can't.  Why?

Because I've lost so many friends.  Since Elizabeth and I have been dating I've been forced to push so many people away because she's so uncomfortable with them because most of my friends are of the female gender.  As a result...I am sitting here alone at 1:00am because she has an 11:00pm curfew and couldn't be here anyway.

So since she can't be with me when I hang with my friends, I can't do it, because she deems it inappropriate.

Don't get me wrong, I love her and I want to respect her wishes but seriously...this is not who I am and it's really eating at me especially as of late.

Hello world.

Wow...

What happened to me?

Years ago, I was driven by a hunger for the things of this world.  I've struggled with pornography, lust, so many other things.  My freshman year of high school I tried to kill myself.  I didn't trust God with any part of my life and I refused to try with most things.

But my God is a sneaky God.

I'm writing this as I've been travelling for exactly 6 weeks with Kingdom Players, Lee's travelling drama ministry.  I've seen countless salvations, rededications, and more people with hearts to see friends and family saved than I've ever known before. 

God has filled me with a wisdom far beyond my own understanding.  I have spoken things into these kids lives at the utterings of the Holy Spirit that I will never forget.  It would be impossible for me to keep track of all of the people I have prayed with since I joined this team about 11 months ago...but I praise God that I don't have to, because God is a faithful God.

Listen to me...I'm talking the way that I've always almost laughed at others for talking even though I myself was a "christian"...but you see...now I am starting to understand.  I've been a Christian all of my life, but now I am beginning to understand and see the plans God has for me.  I am not trying to boast.  As Paul says, "Let he who boasts, boast in the Lord!"  It's not me who is doing these great things, but it is God through me.

This ministry is so powerful...I never expected it to be like this.

So this is it, everyone.  This is my testimony.  I once was lost, but now I am found. 

I once played the part of the good Christian boy but was anything but.  I played the worlds game, and I've found that it left me empty, unsatisfied, and hurting.

Then I started playing God's game.  Really playing.  I'm off the bench, I'm out ministering, and I can see the fruits of that ministry all around me.

I get it now.

Christ died for me.  He died for me so that I could tell you something that will forever change your life.  Christ died for you.

Without Christ, without God, I'd be drinking right now.  All of my friends from when I was younger are, and I know I'd be with them if God hadn't pulled me out of those relationships when I moved so long ago.

I'd still be struggling with pornography, but my God has delivered me from those temptations.

I'd still be comsumed with lust, and all of my relationships would be suffering from lack of a true Godly foundation.

"Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him."

1st Corinthians 1:25-29

One day, I promise

One day I promise I will start putting worthwhile, meaningful things about my life here again...but....until that time.....until that time......watch this video.  Trust me.